


Even More Impossible

by twilightstarr



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mutual Pining, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 21:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightstarr/pseuds/twilightstarr
Summary: Being in love with one person had been painful enough.





	Even More Impossible

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this quite a while ago, but held onto it because I wasn't sure if I would write more of it or not. At this point, I think I can safely say I have enough other ideas that are a higher priority on my to do list that I will not be returning to this one. It satisfied the sadistic craving I felt at the time for polyamorous pining, and I'm content with that. So have this piece of suffering as it is. I'm open to anyone who might like to writing a continuation inspired by this. 
> 
> I like to imagine hanahaki as a curse rather than a disease in the FE worlds. It fits better into the setting in my opinion. 
> 
> My idea is that this was Iago's doing. He said something insulting about Leo, and Niles gave a retort in his defense that was too bold to be tolerated. Iago caught on. Leo, of course, still has't though.

Why did it have to be now? 

Odin, exhausted after Niles had finished with him, was fast asleep, sprawled on his stomach with an arm and a leg over Niles and his head between his shoulder and neck. 

It was adorable. 

The pain in his chest was a feeling Niles had come to associate with Leo, knowing how the curse worked. His lord has mentioned hanahaki once. How ironic that his love the one who'd given him a life he wanted to live would be the death of him now. Niles had avoided letting him know about it. Leo would naturally insist on removing it. Niles didn't want to know how empty it would feel to wake up and feel nothing for him. It would be better not to wake up at all. 

But he hadn't been thinking about Leo at the moment, so why now was he holding down coughs in a desperate effort to not disturb the beautiful mage on top of him? 

Their relationship was only sexual. Niles’ heart belonged to Leo. There was nothing charming about Odin’s passionate rambles, his intense loyalty to his friends, or his determination to accomplish whatever he set his mind to, and if Niles ever laid awake wondering about his past and origins, even now that he trusted Odin with his life, well, that was just him being curious by nature. 

The coughs came, and Niles had to adjust to catch the glob of dandelion and blood that came out. Odin stirred. “Niles?” 

“Sorry,” he managed before another wave came, but thankfully, it died down after another clump came out. “It's okay,” he assured, brushing his other hand across Odin’s hair in an effort to lull him back to sleep. Fortunately, he knew Odin to be difficult to rouse, so there was still a sliver of hope. How he planned to dispose of the evidence while trapped, Niles had no idea, but he could get to that later.

Odin relaxed, and his breath slowed back down. Just when Niles started to think it was safe, he mumbled, “You smell like flowers.” 

Niles felt it the moment the realization hit and his heart sped. Then his head came up. Still, he couldn't see very well in the dark. Niles held his breath as Odin’s fingers fumbled until they found his lips. He was surprised when Odin kissed him, very open mouthed, but didn't resist. 

“You taste like blood,” he confirmed. Of all the methods he could have used to investigate his suspicions, this, evidently, had been the first to occur to him.

“Are you into that?” Niles asked in a futile effort to distract him. He didn't even catch the drift. 

“Niles, you have to tell them, to make it go away.” 

Though urgent, such unsophisticated wording indicated he was still less than fully awake, so Niles decided to play innocent. “...what?” 

“The person you love. When they say it back, it will remove the curse.” 

Niles wanted to point out how presumptuous he was being, but held it back. “Okay.” 

He laid back down. “Tomorrow.” 

“Alright.” 

A pause, and then, quietly, “Niles.” 

“Yeah?” 

“You’ll be okay.” He put his arm back around Niles and nuzzled into his neck again, and Niles felt like he was going to burst from… something. 

Oh no. 

It was love. 

It wasn't just that it made his situation even more impossible. It felt like he was breaking a commitment that had never actually been established. Leo had never asked for his love, but Niles had always been ready to give it all in a heartbeat if he did. 

He hadn't realized until now that he'd been foolishly clinging to that much hope, as though he was even near his prince’s level. He was already unbelievably lucky enough that Leo wanted a former thief as a retainer and friend. 

Why not fall for Odin instead? Niles probably had a better chance with someone who wasn't royalty. Maybe they could form a relationship, and then he'd be able to finally let go of his pining for Leo and survive this ordeal. 

That idea didn't feel right though. Even if it wasn't requited, Leo deserved the the admiration and affection Niles had come to feel for him. He didn't want to move on from him. 

But Odin also deserved it, and Niles didn't want to let go of him either. 

It wasn't difficult to stay awake until Odin fell deep again, and then Niles was able to carefully slip away without waking him to take care of the petal mess, although he did make a weak sleepy effort to hold onto him.

**Author's Note:**

> "Since the Dandelion can thrive in difficult conditions, it is no wonder that people say the flower symbolizes the ability to rise above life’s challenges."  
> From flowermeaning.com


End file.
